Everything Impossible

I was taught to be practical in everything I do
Holding on to what is tangible, and then came You
That's when I found myself so far away, from everything I knew
I took a leap of faith

Even though You're difficult for me to explain
I know I'll never be the same

You're everything I cannot see
You're everything I cannot say
I know it all seems so illogical
But that's okay
You're the love You give to me
You're the love I give away
You are everything impossible
And that's okay

That's okay!

All the things that make no sense to me, draw me to You
Like finding freedom by surrendering, can it be true
With everything I can and cannot know
This mystery is bringing life to me

And all this love I have for You I can't contain
I know I'll never be the same

You're everything I cannot see
You're everything I cannot say
I know it all seems so illogical
But that's okay
You're the love You give to me
You're the love I give away
You are everything impossible
And that's okay

That's okay

What's so hard to understand
What I cannot comprehend
Is that You love me the way I am

You're everything I cannot see
You're everything I cannot say
I know it all seems so illogical
But that's okay
You're the love You give to me
You're the love I give away
You are everything impossible
And that's okay

You're everything I cannot see
You're everything I cannot say
I know it all seems so illogical
But that's okay
You're the love You give to me
You're the love I give away
You are everything impossible
And that's okay

And that's okay

I would die for you

And I know that I can find You here
'Cause You promised me You'll always be there
Times like these, it's hard to see
But somehow I have a peace, You're near
And I pray that You will use my life
In whatever way Your name is glorified
Even if surrendering
Means leaving everything behind

My life has never been this clear
Now I know the reason why I'm here
You never know why You're alive
Until you know what you would die for
I would die for You

And I know I don't have much to give
But I promise You I will give You all there is
Can I possibly do less
When through Your own death I live?

No greater love is found
Than of those who lay their own lives down
As sure as I live and breathe
Now I know what it means to be free

Rhetorical question: No's and Yes's

Have you ever felt like God was telling you No in regards to everything and that no matter what it was or where you looked you always heard, ran into, and saw a NO?!? But then when you least expected it then a YES showed up in the least expected place and in regards to something that you had been waiting for a yes to?!?

God has been telling me NO left and right and no matter what it may be that I was going to do or ask then the answer always showed up to be NO. I couldn't get away from NO's and it has been frustrating. It seemed like God had me drop everything that I had been doing and give it over to someone else and I have not understood the reason behind that until now. After hearing a NO time after time for 2 years in regards to doing God's work He has finally shown up and decided to tell me it's time. 

I have waited 2 years for this and NOW after being half way done with college God has decided to tell me YES?!? I don't understand. he had placed me here on the campus and now after all the waiting and thinking that I was ready 2 years ago to leave all behind and go He tells me yes??? As much as I wish I could do missions for Him, it is becoming reality that I am scared to death and am not ready to give everything up for Him. I want to do it but why now, why after 2 years has He decided to tell me Yes to this question?!? 

I don't know what's going to happen but I am going to be honest and tell you that I am fighting God on this since I am scared to death about what He is calling me to do. I don't know where He wants me to go or what exactly He wants me to do but it's a definite and strong YES that I can't ignore. I don't understand His timing and even if He is saying that it's time and the "training" is done for me to go. I am not sure. I want to trust Him and I do but why a YES now after all that I have been through and hoped to do. Everything is lining up and pointing to it being time but the question is "Am I ready?" and the answer seems to be NO. He has told me NO time and time again and Now a yes shows up. I knew I would fight Him when he would finally say yes but I was not expecting the yes to be directed in this direction and to do this.

So, have you ever been in a similar situation where no matter where you looked and no matter what you asked, God was always telling you No and had you drop everything you had been doing and then out of nowhere you finally get a Yes that you did not expect and then fought God on that decision?? I don't know where God's leading me but the yes is there but I am not sure I am able to go and leave everything when I don't even know where God is leading me to and what He wants me to do.

College and God's plan

God has the perfect plan and sometimes it's hard to understand what He's doing and why He is taking you to the places you are at. At times it's hard to see Him where you are and it's hard to keep hearing No time after time again. I am looking back to last year and I am overwhelmed with feelings. I realize that I lost a year of my life doing things that was not in God's planing for me. He took my life and turned me around and gave me the best experience I could have ever asked for and welcomed in new relationships. I realize that God has brought me here to college but it's not my dream anymore. God has been showing up and blocking certain aspects of my life and shows me down another road that I don't want to go down.

I look now and just reflect on what's going on. I have been through so much in my 19 years and now that I am heading into almost ending the second year of college I can't help but think and believe that God is guiding me somewhere else that's away from here. It's scary and the journey is not fun to travel. I have been getting fears about the path that I am on and God's telling me to take another path. It's a path that I dream of going down but not sure I am ready to embark on this journey that He is trying to get me to go on. It's scary but the calling has been there since I started this journey into college. God is asking me to go and I feel like this is the YES I have been waiting for but I am fighting Him on this. It's my dream to do what He wants me to do but I don't see how it could be done. 

The journey and path that He is calling me to is one that would be full of many sacrifices and relationships lost. It would be one of leaving the familiar and becoming helpless and having to fully believe and trust in God to provide and get me through. 

I look around and see all the memoriez that have been made here and all the relationships that have begun but I also see that God has been prepairing me and triaing me and I can't help but feel that the end is close and that He wants me to leave all behind and that the traing is done for now. he wants me to go but I don't see how that is possible. He has trained me and now He is ready for me to go and use what I have learned. I don't know where things are going to take me and I don't know if I am going to follow Hiim on this. As much as I want to do this, my thoughts are saying other wise and saying I can't. But, what happened to stop saying I can't and saying I can do ALL things through Him who strenghtens me??

"Needs to stop saying NO WAY to God and start saying YES!! Needs to stop saying I CAN'T and start saying GOD CAN!! Needs to stop saying I'M NOT STRONG ENOUGH and start saying I CAN DO ANYTHING THROUGH HIM WHO STRENGTHENS ME!! Needs to stop saying IT'S IMPOSSIBLE and start saying WITH GOD EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE!!! Needs to stop focusing on MY WEAKNESSES and start focusing on GOD'S POWER!!!"

While I'm waiting

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord


This song came to mind today as things have not been the best and the day has been hard. As I posted in my last post, God has been getting ahold of me and at times it will break you and this is one of those times. He is breaking me and I am facing war but this song has helped me and I believe the lyrics in this song. I am waiting and it is hard but I am still called to worship and honor God with all that I do and that is just the thing that I am and will continue to do. He will give me the peace that I need (even though I am running on less than 4 hours of sleep from lastnight). Don't give up and keep pushing forward and God will work in mighty ways for nothing is impossible for Him. You just have to believe and trust that He can and will show up. He has a divine apointment with everyone and at times we are blind about that but keep your eyes open and watch what he does even when it means waiting. It's not easy to wait and some situations will hurt but listen to this song and worship God while you are waiting!!!

When God gets ahold of you

Oh wow, there is so much going through my mind that I don't even know where to start. It is sometimes overwhelming when God gets ahold of you and starts talking to you and it is at times hard to comprehend. I need to get my thoughts put out there so I thought I would make a blog on it.

God knows what you need to hear and what is going to happen. God has the ultimate power and will provide. You need to seek and then you will find, you need to ask and you will get answers. Little did I know that God had a divine apointment with me tonight and everything is just scrambled together and very hard to comprehend. There is too much that is going through my head and I need God's peace so I can sleep tonight so I can get up for classes tomorrow.

Some of the topics that are running through my head are... if we do not open up and tell others about Christ and His love for them then who will? If we don't talk and they never hear and come to know Christ then what will happen to them? (I hate to say it and it tears me to pieces but they may end up going to Hell). That brings me to tears and it hurts me to realize those who are close to me that don't know Christ and know that if they don't accept His gift then that's where they are destined to go... (Truly think about that and if that does not tear you apart, bring you to tears, hurt you then you need to look at your relationship with God since as it is said "break my heart for what breaks yours" and He does not want people to go to Hell and neither should we)

Another issue that has hit me hard is the fact that we are called to have friendships with those who don't know Christ and when given a minute and the only people I could think of was 2 people who were family, that once again hurt since all of my friends are Christans and I want the Lord to open up the doors for me to make friends with those who do not know Him so that I can have oppertunities to share the Gospel.

I have also been struggling with trusting God and "following" Him all the way. My faith has strengthened during the year but there is still alot to be learned. It costs to follow God and I have realized that but it is an entire different concept to follow that.. It's easy to hear that and read it but it is a lot harder to follow it. There has been a lot been going on and I have been starting to wear a mask and I have seen what opening up and being honest does and it frees you but I am afraid of what others will say. I have been hurt by many people and there are things that I need to learn to let go but that is so much easier said than done.

God knows everything, He loves us and needs our help, we need to pray big and believe that God will answer it and can do as you pray, He will provide... But, when you have been hurt time after time and when all you know if one thing and your relationship with Christ gets better then you think all is well but as I read the other day "beware of the almost good for when Satan can't get you to do eveil then he will get you to settle for the almost good, just short of the good God wants you to know."

I don't want to settle for okay/ average/ almost good and prayers need to be bigger but you need to go with a partner. You can't face things alone and I have been doing that. I am guilty of settling for the almost good and I have been doing things alone when I need to ask for help. There is so much more here that could be talked about and more will come later but I needed to get some of this off of my mind and figured out so thanks for reading my randomness and me going on and on. Hope some of this spoke to you as well and more will be coming soon.

Trusting God

Read Genesis 22:1-19

Wow is all that I can say!!! God tested Abrahams faith. Vs.2 “Take your son, your only son-yes Isaac, whom you love so much- and go to the land of Moriah. Go and sacrifice him as a burnt offering on one of the mountains, which I will show you.” Vs. 3 “The next morning Abraham got up early. He saddled his donkey and took two of his servants with him, along with his son, Isaac. Then he chopped wood for a fire for a burnt offering and set out to the place God had told him about.”

Vs. 9-10 “When they arrived at the place God had told him to go, Abraham built an altar and arranged the wood on it. Then he tied his son, Isaac, and laid him on the altar on top of the wood. And Abraham picked up the knife to kill his son as a sacrifice.”

           

                    This is not the God that people think of, they don't see God as asking you to go sacrifice your only son but then look at what God did... He loved the world and gave his ONLY son for us (John 3:16) This passage is not only about trusting God but also about believing that God will provide (Yahweh-Yireh: "the Lord will provide")

Some people may not believe that God will and can truly provide but look around and see what you have and that is a symbol of what God has provided. Without God then nothing is possible and we wouldn't have anything. 

                              Today is the first day back for the second semester of college and man has God been showing up and providing and answering prayers (but that is an entire other blog that will be written later on). God has been showing up by conforming what should be done and He has provided me with the opportunity to get a job and has helped in many ways. There is not a ton to say besides the fact that God does hear you and He does provide. Trust Him and do as He tells you and things will work out!!!

H